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25th SONG POSTED!!!!!

"You're so vain; I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?" - Carly Simon, You're So Vain

I wrote these myself; hopefully they don't stink, but if they do, hey that's cool. These are about me usually but I'm trying to write about things other than personal experience.

My inspirations on my song writing: I'd probably say The Calling, Lifehouse, Goo Goo Dolls. Voice wise- I try to use John Rzeznik, Alex Band, Rob Thomas, and Jason Wade's styles. Writing-wise I'd like to say John Rzeznik but i think i more like an Alex Band. I'm trying some James Taylor too and some Amy Lee. And just for the record...Matt Laird is the singer I try to emulate the most.

I hope i'm getting better at this: looking at my past songs, well.... they suck or at least aren't as good as i thought they were. I think my newer ones are good or improving and hopefully one day I'll write a number 1 song. ( you're thinking, "he's gone/wak/loco/stoned/ or lost it etc" heh). They sound better than they seem ( i hope/think) in print and hopefully one day I could sing them in front of someone and get an opinion on the vocal aspect. I will, however, revisit the past songs and really make them something (probably over the summer). -Peace y'all -PPP

So yeah... I use 'SOLO' alot, no? I love that word. Maybe b/c of Han Solo, the man named Solo in Spider-Man, Solo cups (is that what it's called? who cares; it sounds like that), solus (I think) is its Latin word, it sounds better than alone/ lonely (which are overused), and it just sounds cool. heh

I stopped with the dates b/c most of the new ones were fragments that took days to complete. Yup. So enjoy - The Artist known as PPP

*all songs © PPPublishing 2003.

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Drown - this song reflects times when i was really depressed this year and (for those who know me) you know i'm not usually depressed. This song is not 'happy' like my friend terms my songs, so i hope this is a nice deviation from my usual style. o and 'you' means a goal ( couldn't find a better rhyme) Enjoy!

I'm fighting a war that can't be won

(I'm going down x 2)

Throw the towel on the floor

but it's still round one

(I'm going down x 2)

I just want to give up

I don't stand a chance

(I'm going down x 2)

I wanna believe

but I just can't stand

oh ohh

I fought off all the odds to make it through

but i hanging on the edge cuz i can't grasp you

I can't hold on

wanna let go

screaming

I just want to drown

I'm drowning now

See my red flame flicker

as i fade out

(going down x 2)

Can't tell you what i'm seeing

as i blackout

(going down x 2)

I cry for help but i'm still feeling alone

I'm down on my knees

but i just can't pray

chorus

Trying hard to be a man

but it hurts so much

hurts so much

I can feel the bleeding deep inside

I can't stand up

(pause)

Face down

(pause)

I'm gonna die

ooh ohh

chorus

I'm drowning

Please Forgive Me - It just came to me....i just figured it out; I screwed up....maybe i'm too late...well i hope the person i wrote this about at least reads the song even if it's too late...and please forgives me.

I screwed up much this time
with only myself to blame
and I lost you
I lost you
and drove you away
It took some time to figure out
I did it all wrong
So just give me a chance
just one more chance
to prove my worth

I know it's my fault and sorry may not be enough
I acted stupid in fear i would lose you
I'm going crazy cuz I just can't have you
It's my fault

I messed up
But could you please forgive me?

I didn't mean to scare you,

i was just so afraid of
evrything that was going on
I thought I had you but
I wasn't ready at all
Please forgive me for being fearful
I didn't mean what i said
Please forgive my false denial
I only thought about you

chorus

Could you please hear me out?
I was just so scared
I ran away
Hoping you would follow
But i'm brave now
and I know what to say

chorus
+ but would you please forgive me,
Could you please forgive me
Could we start over
because i'm ready
and, this time, I'm not afraid

My Secret- old song i never posted.....whoops!!

You'd wish you never met me if you found out

the secret that I kept inside

That maybe I saw something

something more

that I just

can't deny and

Make you terrified

I love you yeah

but I know we can't be together

this time

I wanted to be closer to you but i know

that I can't anymore

because you don't feel the same about me

you don't feel the same about me

Kinda scary isn't it

that maybe I feel this way

but i know you don't

that's why it's kept away

but maybe It's something I should say

refrain

yeah, baby, you don't have to love me. I'm just telling you how I feel. Don't want to lose what we have but I just have to say

refrain

Enigma - my best song ever?

So tied and complicated

you never gave the truth

you always kept me guessing

trying to figure out you

(yeah) bound by your silence

you still gave glimpses to me

never real, you're so hard to reach

so...

What are you hiding?

Why are you faking?

What are you keeping in hidden in those eyes?

you're just so perplexing

you're always a mystery to me

come out and show you're anger

let me feel your pain

cuz I'll still be waiting

waiting for you to say

chorus

so small and complicated

you always hid the truth

you always kept me guessing trying to figure out you

chorus

I'll still be there

waiting for you to say

when no one seems to care...

I'll still be there

Gone this ain't no 'nsync stuff.

Across the hall, i see her smile

the way she laughs just makes me cringe

Not like i can get up to her

or at least that's what she makes me think

I wish it wasn't complicated

I wish it was easy

love ain't ove

but it feels so new to me

Should've said something now i'm too late

Just blew my chance and now she's gone

she was worth the risk i didn't take

and now I'm here

and now she's gone

She's nice and bad at the same time

The perfect mix of what i want

With the warmest smile on her

I know it can't just be a front

But it is o so hard to talk to her

at least it is to me

Why can't she see what i feel

and come running to me?

chorus

I wish that you were mine

I wish it was easy

I have to go up to you

(even if) the perfect time is never there

Now i said something

Now i got a date

I used my chance

and now we're gone

She was worth the risk that i did take

and i'm here

and so are you

Smitten if you think it's about some1 in particular....you're wrong... :P heh k thx...well aybe you're right.

I hear your voice haunt my every dream

our skin so soft I shiver

I feel your soothing breath on my face

and wake me from my dream.

You got me mesmerized; i hardly can move

I can't remember a thing cuz all i see is you

Not like i mind at all

You got me hooked on you; I'm yours

I'm smitten. You're like a dream come true

All i want is you. O stay with me, stay with me,

stay with me , just gimme me a chance

I see your cool eyes pierce mine

Your touch so warm i shudder

I hear your pretty laugh along the stone path

clear the clouds away

I'm lost in your eyes; don't want to get out

You're all i need without a doubt

you got me hooked on you; you know i'm yours

not like i mind at all

chorus

It's not like i'm the best of men

It's not like a deserve you

It's not like I won't be your everything

cuz i'll be much more

chorus

Go Away This is an older song I've worked on for awhile

Just be silent for a second

don't want to talk right now

your voice is so annoying

I just want to be alone

Can you just quit it

You'll make it worse

I can't deny I'm hurting

but

Go away

You make me want to ki11 myself

I won't run away

just leave me be

Don't come back

Don't explain

turn around

and walk away

walk away from me

Why can't you see it?

I don't want your "company"

You can't give the help I need

Can you just leave me please?

I'm just tired of people

I need time alone

so please leave and

chorus

Your Call A tad bit selfish? maybe; dunno really...

I'm chasing, I'm running

I'm trying to find the answer to the destiny that lies ahead

Can't complain

I got it all

but I don't got no one

to share it with

I took some time away from you

and I found out

I'm just not the same

you're the one who keeps me alive

but only realized without

you

but

I found you in the still of my heart

Now i just can't let you go

and now I'm lost in love I can't come down

without you

o oh

Take me or break me

it's either or or something inbetween

Save me now or crush my heart

It's now your choice

Lemme hear your voice

It's in your hands now...

chorus

(slower) it's now your choice

it's in your hands just don't leave me here waiting, Don't leave me waiting; Don't leave me alone

chorus

it's now your choice; it's in your hands

don't leave me waiting

Nothing's Changed 12/20 This is an old song about a RESOLVED issue.

I thought I wouldn't mind

but it's ki11ing me inside

I tried to be a man

and brush the pain aside

but now I stand here and All I feel is h8

but know it ain't worth it

don't have to be this way

You can't say that

nothing's changed

I can't look at you

or talk the same way

and it's a shame it's this way

but you can't deny that everything's changed

I never realized it would come to this

kept behind a lie, the pain would still exist

but what can I do

made a mistake

All I know is

I refuse to keep the h4te

chorus

I thought I wouldn't mind

never meant to be like this

now trapped inside it burns......

I can't run adn hide

not any more

I gotta move on

chorus

Break the cycle yeah the world is good and beautiful, but it's /destroying itself

Twisted, crooked

the world goes on

making its monotonous sound

Daunt it, won't take it

It'll laugh in your face

and knock you down on the gorund

- But it's time to take a stand- what the world is doing is wrong

I don't care if they make me a martyr

it's worth the fight yeah

Take control

break the cycle

won't let you pick me apart

It's gotta change I won't allow it to go on

It's causing pain, strife, and anger

yet the world doesn't see

so take a chance break the cycle

then we'll be free

Misery runs rampant

along the streets

you see it in poelpe's eyes

Crumbling, falling

I tumbles down

what the he11 is wrong with this place?

chorus

I'll Have Peace this isn't su1cide; rather it's confronting problems and solving them...heh i've recently done alot of that

I knew something was wrong

I felt it deep inside

Found out all along

It wasn't the same thing

I thought it was

-But deep inside I knew it was this, but I didn't care at all

Didn't try to fight it

only fed it / I was cared of the truth

But I can't run away this time

Finally I have peace I'll feel so alive

stronger than before

Ready to be the whole me

buried inside

I'm gonna work it out

I'll try to fix this

but it ain't gonna be painless

But that might compare to what I'm feeling

- but I know the risk is worth it

chorus

Past the storm lies my paradise

where I'll be free

Helpless O did I mention the gir1s I met in OK and the other CA ? heh oops

O what can you do

when you can't be with the one you want so bad

when you're here

and when she's there

10,000 miles away

I can't do anything about this

Now I'm standing here alone

Only she stole my heart and soul

that's why I'm so helpless

It hurts so much inside

just like a cancer

but it's not right to try and keep her

-Why does it have to be this way

chorus

Why does it havee to be this way

I finally met someone I can love

and now I'm away from her

Why Why Why?

chorus

Not as Strong as I Think I am I dedicate this song, which is about friendship, to all my friends. You guys have helped me through some tough times recently, and I appreciate it. This is for you; enjoy. 8-)

Sometimes being a man

is admitting you're not as strong as you think you are

It's realizing that need help, you can't always

do it alone

So help me now

I'm sinking so fast

cuz of my damn pride

I'm losing now

help me up again

bring me back to the light

I'm not as strong as I think I am

I can't do it alone this time

Please help me now I found out

I need you I can't

fight this alone

Some people say I'm y, too confident, unbreakable

but I found out I'm not inside...

I'm just a boy

trying to find his way

in this crazy world

So help me now

I can't do it alone

Don't want to be solo

this time

chorus

Anti-Hyde This is for those people who think I'm lonely(gf-wise). Thanks. Really. But I'm fine and happy how I am right now. : -)

I try to be picky

don't want to make a huge mistake

I take my time on these heart matters

I know fate will find a way

But I don't mind being solo

I know I'll get my time

Just for now

I'm alone but (guess what) I'm feeling fine

Some call it being a loner

Some call it being free

I don't care what they say

I'm just being me

I don't want to hook up with just any

Just saving my kisses I guess

She don't have to be beautiful

but someone who makes me feel more alive

But I don't mind being solo

Of course I still care

but I know she'll be worth it

can't explain it

but I know she's there

chorus

Enter content here

Everything I want 12/26

Tried to realize

what I wanted in this life

common sense don't prevail

you gotta trust your heart

Then I found it all in you

now I know and see the truth:

You're the one, the sole one, the answer to my problems

You showed me what I wanted

You showed me what I needed

You're everything

You're everything I want

I can't live without you

I can't lose with you

You're everything

You're everything I want

So many times I've tried

to find the perfect life

but I know I just can't

do it alone

and now it won't be complete

without you...

and now I know I just can't

live without you

chorus

You make me better

you make me the man I want to be

chorus

I don't Need You 12/27

Never felt o so free

cuz I know I don't need you

you held me back, controlling me

but aren't this time

You suffocated me

and I couldn't see that you did

but I know I don't need you now

Never felt so alive

cuz I know I don't need you

Unlocked the man inside

without you

keeping me behind

Never felt o so free

even if i'm by myself

I feel alive, so in control

without you

It took a while for me to finally see

that you're a plague...

but i know i don't need you now

chorus

I'll keep going on

I'm stronger on my own

I know I'm free cuz I don't have you

chorus

Shady Woman 12/22/02 * I had this tune in my head for a while now, but now it is finished... enjoy.

There's a sly vix3n

coming through the door

red lips flaming

making you want more

ans she's coming

over to you

be afraid, boy

cuz you know she'll play you

Cuz she's a shady woman

you won't give her your heart but she'll steal it anyway

and don't believe her

she won't be your marmalade

but she'll take ya, break ya so fast you won't know you got played

Don't believe this devilish temptress

you can't see it

but inside she's just a mess

and she goes over

over to kiss you

It ain't worth it cuz you know she'll play you

refrain

Miss, you, senorita

You'll never get him

you won't get the chance to play him

refrain

12/17/02 I'm Falling for you

I don't know what's happening

I'm losing control of myself

All I know it's realted to you

who makes it so

and I never thought I'd be this way

and I know my heart's all over it

I don't mind at all and I won't stop the change

I know you'll never let me down

I know you'll always be there

I know you'll be there to catch me

cuz I'm fallin' for you

I never tried to fell this way

Came naturally I guess

All I know it's because of you who makes me so

And never thought I'd fall for you

Just never crossed my mind I guess

no matter what we've been through

I'm falling for you

chorus

I'll never let you down

I know you'd do the same for me

then we'll be together like it's supposed to be

chorus

12/10/02 "One day" * Please don't be sympathic to me. seriously. But u can be sympathetic to the fact that I'm owned by Alan or that someone thinks I'm Korean.

** Another note: the 'tonight' stuff ain't sex; just means as a comfort, companion that's here now when he/she's needed the most.

One day I'll finally meet her

The perfect miss right

but now I wait here solo...

Why can't she be here tonight?

Chorus:

I'm tired of being lonely

I'm standing here all alone

I'm tired of flying solo

but I guess that's how it goes

One day she'll finally be mine

The one I'll love for all time

And I'll always treat her right

and give her the time of her life

(faster)

But I know she's not here anywhere

and I'm just tired of looking

But I'm sure she's somewhere out there

just not here

Chorus

One day I'll finally meet her

then things will be alright

and I hope she's somewhere out there...

needing me tonight

Without You

11/28/02

My heart's gettin' colder

I'm freezing inside

I never felt so lonely

I won't deny

And I can't explain it

I don't know why

But without you

I can't survive

O oh O

And can't live my life without you

but I let you go

O, I can't breathe without you

and that's what I want you to know

I won't deny my failure

I know it's my fault yeah

You were all I needed

but I let go

And you gave so much to me yeah

and I took you for granted

but I'm off

and runnin' after you

chorus

I kept pushing away from you,

and I want you back (yeah)

and I know I don't deserve you

I just want you to know

chorus

Loner (11/8/02)

Looking back at his life

he realized he never fit in

and he remembers how they

always forgot him

O why did they leave him hanging?

Why won't she even try?

(and) why won't they try to reach him

but leave him here tonight?

He never could get a gir l

to even notice or talk to him

and he tried and tried so many times

but they could never find the treasure in him

refrain

Yeah he tried to reach them

(and) yeah he tried so hard

but they just left him solo

and never what was inside

refrain

We're the same (10/15/02) *It's about lines of discrimination, predjudice against people who are 'different' and I've been in that boat so I can relate.

People drive so fast

that they can't see around them

Taking the faster lane

leaving me behind

So far they never take a chance on me

they won't even try to

And I can see what your doing to me

And when I come close

you just push me away

I don't know why

I even tried

but I'll leave you here

and just say goodbye

Yeah just ignore me

I guess I'm too wierd for you

but you're human just like me

So what the heck did I do?

chorus

(falsetto)

(Why are) there

lines around us?

What did we do?

Why can't we take a step forward

and come join you?

Chorus

It's not really there

Infatuation is a fleeting feeling

It's almost always false

It'l make you breathe harder for the one

the false one who you'll eventually drop cuz

You're not the one for me

It was never meant to be

You're blind if you can't see

It's not meant to work

Did I ever even love you?

I did......

without knowing who you are

**(still under construction)

And I won't force the issue

I'm not the one for you either

It can't be that complicated:

it's not working, Yeah

chorus

Left Broken (10/13/02) * I wrote this recently after a certain incident...I'm over it now but this is how I felt right after it happened. NOTE: there may be/are exagerations.

Well here ya go, ya did it again

You left me here, alone again

(And I) And I tried to be

the best I could be

But you just left me there

Chorus:

Why did you play me?

Didn't we have something going on?

Why did you leave me

and break me apart?

I'm know I'm not the best guy,

but I know I'm not a jerk (a jerk).

And you left me hanging there all alone

Don't you know I have feelings too?

Chorus

I couldn't stand stand this

You just tore me to pieces

Will you ever feel the way I do?

Cuz I'm bleeding and it's all because of you

Chorus

Say What I Gotta Say (8/7/02)

I never was good with gir1s but somehow I know you're different

cuz you make my world move and I can't explain why.

My knees grow weak when I'm close to you

But I know I gotta stay to say what I gotta say.

Chorus:

You're a mystery to me

I'll never understand what you do to me when I'm around you

And I find it hard to say what you just gotta know

but I know I'l find a way to say what I gotta say

I memorize the words but I know it doesn't matter

cuz when I'm around you I just seem to melt

But I try anyway but it never comes out right

cuz when it comes to you

I just can't ever get it right

Chorus

Don't do this to me

Stop it if you can

so you can hear what I gotta say

Chorus

All than I wanted (7/31/02)

After the breakup, I'm tired and I'm messed up

I can't even fall asleep, yeah

It never should've been like this, I tried to deny it, but now you're away from me

It wasn't the same with other gir1friends; the wounds I never tried to mend

But now it's not the same case with you; can't you see?

Chorus:

Cuz you're all than I wanted

You're all than I needed

You're all than I ever dreamed

But now That I lost you, I gotta get back to you

I really hope this is a dream, yeah

I think about for awhile

The way you laugh and how you make me smile

And I think of that better place

when time wasn't moving and our lips were locked and doing what i could nevr ever let go

Chorus

I really hope this ain't real. The words can't say what I truly feel. But I know that i need you. I can't live without you. You gotta come back to me

Chorus

Worked for the better (8/602)

I wish I told her how I felt

right before she met someone else

I was so scared cuz she made my world move

But now my silence cost me

I always said I'd do it later

cuz I thought she wait forever

but that was a dream, a fantasy

and now I wake up to reality

I shouldn't have been so blind

Waiting and biding my time

She won't always wait for me

and now it's too late to see i'd work out for the better

if i'd work out for better

(this part is is still under construstion : P )

I waited for her but she was waiting for me

aand I know I lost her cuz I was afraid to see

what she felt towards me

But it's not like I didn't care

but now she's gone and ain't here

and made a mistake